All In God's Timing (Part 6)

***

Labake had an exhausted look on her face. First Prince Osa just asked her out on an impromptu date now her mom is questioning her about who she was on the phone with.
"It was no one mom. Gosh!"
"Okay o, I won't be the nosy mom, but I know you have a date." Her mother smiled.
"Yea yea... you always figure things out." Labake smiled and shook her head.
With that they put aside the topic and talked about people back home and how the nation was doing all the way to her house. Labake was always interested in discussing the progress of the nation so much that people teased that she should run for office in Nigeria.

---

Prince Osa couldn't believe it. He had just made dinner plans with Labake. Now he was really going to find out if a relationship is worth pursuing between the two of them. At least this last conversation wasn't too bad even though she still pulled the "not interested in you" move which is every Nigerian girl's M.O. Should he buy her a gift or would that be too much? Especially since he's not yet familiar with her personality. She may not appreciate his gift and think he is just showing off. The last time he did that the lady accepted the gift but eventually walked out on him. Just at that moment, his cell phone rang.

"Hello?" He realized he hadn't looked at the caller ID and that his voice sounded gruff.

"My guy are you alright? Na sleep you dey sleep?"

It was Obinna his friend from his university days at Oxford.

"Obinna it's you. Abeg no vex. How you dey now?"

"I dey o. Body dey inside clothe. What's going on now? It's been a while since we spoke."

"Yes it has. I'm just trying to wrap up business on this end."

"Are those people really on board to invest in Naija?"

"My guy, dem get choice?" They both laughed.

"So we must celebrate then. When are you getting back to this side?"

"It'll be in another week. Got some personal business to take care of."

"Hmmm I trust you. You don find a babe no be so?"

"You should know now. Actually, I'll be flying down to see her. It was Toke that told me about her."

"Cool cool. Anyhow let me know how it goes with the babe o. But we're still on for celebrating right?"

"Definitely."

"Alright my guy, make we talk later."

"Later."

Prince Osa shook his head and smiled as he hung with Obinna. He really needs to get back to work.

Excerpt: The Sacred Romance

Her Heart Is Captured
12/14/2009

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In our psychological age, we have come to call our affairs “addictions,” but God calls them “adultery.” Listen again to his words to the Israelites through Jeremiah:

You are a swift she-camel
running here and there, a wild donkey accustomed to the desert,
sniffing the wind in [your] craving—
in [your] heat [how can I] restrain [you]?
Any males that pursue [you] need not tire themselves;
at mating time they will find [you]. Do not run until your feet are bare
and your throat is dry. (Jer. 2:23–25)

God is saying, “I love you, and yet you betray me at the drop of a hat. I feel so much pain. Can’t you see we’re made for each other? I want you to come back to me.” And Israel’s answer, like that of any addict or adulterer, is: “It’s no use! I love foreign gods, and I must go after them” (Jer. 2:25).

Perhaps we can empathize with the ache God experienced as Israel’s “husband” (and ours when we are living indulgently). Having raised Israel from childhood to a woman of grace and beauty, he astonishingly cannot win her heart from her adulterous lovers. The living God of the universe cannot win the only one he loves, not due to any lack on his part, but because her heart is captured by her addictions, which is to say, her adulterous lovers.

(The Sacred Romance , 134–35)

Encounter with Jesus

Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda[a] and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. 3Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed.[b] 5One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"
7"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."

8Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." 9At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, 10and so the Jews said to the man who had been healed, "It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat."

11But he replied, "The man who made me well said to me, 'Pick up your mat and walk.' "

-John 5:2-11

I love this!

A man who had been sick, disabled by illness was just healed by Jesus. You would think that the people around him would join him in celebrating the wonderful thing that God has done in his life. But instead they begin to find fault in him. "How dare you pick up your mat?" "Don't you know it's the Sabbath?"

However, the man said something that struck me. He said, "The man who made me well said to me, Pick up yout mat and walk." Simple. I'm sure in his mind the man struggled with who to obey. The law of Moses or the One who just healed him. I'm sure being a Jew he knew the implications of picking up his mat on the Sabbath. Nevertheless he defied all that because something bigger than the law had happened to him. He had just had an encounter with Jesus Christ!

Our God doesn't want our empty formalities. He doesn't want us obeying because it is law. Rather He wants us obeying because we've experienced Him. Our obedience should come from a place of love and respect for a great King that we have encountered. Abraham gave Melchizedek a tithe not because he read in the law that it is good to tithe, but because he had just encountered the King of Righteousness.

Folks let us stop our empty formalities and let us really begin to encounter Jesus. Then will our obedience be true.

THEREFORE LET us go on and get past the elementary stage in the teachings and doctrine of Christ (the Messiah), advancing steadily toward the completeness and perfection that belong to spiritual maturity. Let us not again be laying the foundation of repentance and abandonment of dead works (dead formalism) and of the faith [by which you turned] to God,

-Heb 6:1

All In God's Timing (Part 5)

***

Saturday finally came. Labake's mom would be arriving in about 2 hours and she was yet to finish cleaning her house. She had woken up that morning with a long list of things to do on her mind. She had to go to the bank, run to the post office, pay her bills online, and clean her house. Her mother makes a big deal out of an untidy house even if it's a speck of dust. It's two hours to her mom's arrival and she just finished cleaning her kitchen. Now the question is should she continue cleaning or should she take her shower and start heading out considering she has an hour's drive to the airport. Making up her mind, she hopped into the shower.

As Labake stood by the railing in the arrivals area, she noticed her mother pushing her baggage cart searching for her. Labake stood and watched her mother, amazed at how although her mom is in her late 50's she still looks stunning. Her mother looked fit and her outfit was very chic. When her mom drew closer, she walked up to the "No entry" door and called for her mom. Her mother turned to her right and waved. Quickly, Labake walked over and they hugged. How long had it been since the two of them held each other like this. She truly had missed her mother.

"Mom, I'm so glad you're here."

Her mom pulled back and looked into her eyes, "oko mi, it's good to see you."

"Ah let me push your cart mom." She takes the baggage cart from her mother. "How was your flight?"

"My dear it was okay. I still can't get used to that flight food. They need to do something about it. Can you imagine these oyinbo people trying to serve us yam poridge because we're coming from Nigeria?"

Labake laughed. "Ah mommy! I hope you didn't give them a hard time."

"At all my dear."

They got to the car and put her mom's bags in the trunk.

"Eya mommy, how is everyone back home? What about Daddy agba?"

"They're all fine o, they send their love. Daddy agba is as healthy as ever. He really misses you."

"Eya. I miss him too. What about your friends?"

"They're good o. Iya alaso's daughter even got married last Saturday. You should have seen the wedding. Trust my friend she went all out."

Labake smiled and shook her head.

"Yes o, that little girl has gotten married and she's only 22. What about you oko mi, is there anyone in your life?"

"Ah mommy, what do you mean anyone in my life?"

"Omolabake you know what I mean. Any man?"

Again Labake laughed. "Mommy you're funny o. We haven't even gotten to the house and you're already asking about a man. Can this wait?"

"Hmmm Okay o."

At that moment, Labake's phone started ringing. She picked up her phone from the cup holder and looked at the caller ID; it was Prince Osa. She paused not sure what to do. she didn't want her mum knowing she was talking to any man. Not yet anyway.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

"Umm yea."

She rolls her eyes and answers the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey... I hope I'm not catching you at a bad time. How are you?"

"I'm good and you?" She sounded almost impatient. Should she tell him she's with her mom?

"I'm okay. I'm actually rounding up business up here and I was thinking of coming down to your area. Hopefully we can meet up?"

"Umm suuure... When were you thinking of coming?"

"I should be in by Monday night. So Tuesday evening dinner?"

Who does he think he is? She hadn't said it was okay to come down to see her.

"Okay yea that works. Give me a call to let me know where to meet you."

"Actually I'll be coming to pick you up. If that is okay with you?"

"Ok yea. That works." What was she doing agreeing to let him pick her up from her house? Has this guy jazzed her?

"Then Tuesday it is! So I'll talk to you soon?"

"Yea sure. Alright take care."

"Yea you do the same."

She hung up.

"Who was that?" Her mother asked.

All In God's Timing (Part 4)

Throughout the next day, Labake made a conscious decision not to return Prince Osa's call. She didn't want him to think she was desperate, besides she really didn't know what to say. Okay so they would go through the usual introductions and after that what next? How could she hope for a relationship with a guy that was royalty, so much responsibility rests on his shoulders. Would he really be interested in the little things she's involved in when he rubs shoulders with movers and shakers. Really she just couldn't muster up the courage. And she definitely doesn't want to tell Toke about the call. Her friend would only make her more nervous by pressuring her to call him. She just needs to clear her head and take her time. If he's really interested, he might call again.

As the thought settled in her mind, her phone vibrated in her cup holder in her car. She picked up her phone and looked at the caller ID. It was his number! Out of panic she pushed the answer button while her mouth hung open; speechless. How is it that as she was thinking of him calling her again he calls?
"Hello?" His voice souded tentative.
"uh uh hello..." Her voice sounded panicky.
"Is this a bad time? I was just following up on my call last night. I can..."
"Oh um yes.... yea.... it's a bad time. I'm in traffic. Can I call you back when I get home?"
"Oh sure. I'm sorry for catching you off guard. I'll be looking forward to your call."
"Okay thanks. Bye!"
And without even waiting for him to reply, she hung up. This is just too much for her. She couldn't even handle herself properly on the phone. She wanted to jump over all the cars ahead of her and speed home so she could redeem herself. Now what's he going to think of her?

As Labake hung up, Osa was a bit amused. He didn't know what to make of the conversation he just had. Should he bother pursuing Labake or should he just let her go? His decision wouldn't be based on any emotions since he's just getting to know her. Really it was curiousity that was driving him. He really wanted to know what made Labake tick, and why Toke called her a sight to behold. If he lets go he may never get the answers he wants, and if he did pursue her further, he could be disappointed by the outcome. It really was a gamble. But what if he called Toke and asked her a bit more about Labake, that would help decide his next course of action. He picked up his phone and dialed her number. On the third ring she answered.
"Ossy! How are you?"
"Hey babe. I dey o. You?"
"I'm alright... trying to fix something for dinner. Long day.. long story. So What's good?"
"I called your friend o, left her a message last night, she didn't call me back. I just called her again and she sounded a bit flustered on the phone, almost like she wanted to get me off the phone. Is that how she normally is?"
Toke laughed. "Osa... please don't mind her o. She was probably panicking. Give her some time to come around. After all it's not every day that a prince calls her phone."
"Is she a shy person?" Osa had to know.
"She could be shy especially around guys. She's also very churchy... she was sheltered growing up. She dated once but it didn't work out and I think it's left her a bit suspicious of men. Even though she won't admit it."
"Wow... okay... hmm interesting. I have a lot of thinking to do. I'm not sure she's what I'll call my type."
"Aaah Osa.. you want to give up? You have to show her you're serious and make her feel comfortable engough to trust you. What is it with all you men? Y'all want the easy way out."
"Like I've been doing with you and you keep refusing me? Let's just say I know you women."
soft chuckle. "Look Osa for real I think you should go after Labake. I have to run now... got a hot date with my egusi and rice."
"Alright... we won't go there. Save egusi for me o!"
"Yea I will silly... talk to you later!"
"Yea later! Bye Tokes!"
"Bye!"

All In God's Timing (Part 3)

***

Prince Osa couldn't focus on the business proposal on his desk. Frustrated with the fact that he's been skimming through the document since 10am that morning, he turns his executive leather chair toward the window on his right. He sat there totally in awe of nature. With such beauty spread out before him there has to be some validity to the theory of a Creator. All this magnificent beauty couldn't just have popped out of nowhere. The Big Bang as some call it. He let the picture in front of him wash over his frustration and he let out a sigh of relief. He may not fully understand the concept of God from the Roman Catholic worldview that he grew up with, neither can he say he is an atheist, but one thing is for sure, there is something bigger than him out there. Such beauty. Speaking of beauty, his good friend Toke had mentioned she had a friend who she described as "a sight to behold." A small grin sneaked up on his face. The truth is that he's always had a thing for Toke, but she's always insisted that there could never be more between them than friendship. Osa didnt' think she really believed that. In his opinion, Toke only said that to keep her freedom to date whomever she wanted without feeling rushed to the altar. She knew that with him, marriage would be inevitable. His father is pushing 80 years old, and his health is not exactly great. The chiefs have already given him the mandate to find his queen before he can ascend the throne of his father. If Toke prefers her freedom to a lifetime with him then he just may find his queen in her friend. With that he made up his mind. He would call Toke's beautiful friend later tonight. Now back to work.


It was Wednesdat night, and Labake just didn't feel like driving all the way to church for the midweek Bible study. Instead, she ordered some Lo Mein and some beef with broccoli from a Chinese carry-out nearby and then stopped at the local grocery store for a tub of ice cream. When she got home she turned on her tv and browsed through the On Demand menu of her cable provider. She found the perfect chick flick for a night like this: "A Walk To Remember." As the movie started she put her things away, changed into a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt; she needed to be as comfortable as she could get. She loved nights like this, snuggled up under the throw on her couch watching one of her favorite movies. She was beginning to start on her dessert when she heard her cell phone ringing in her purse across the room. She thought for a quick second. Should she answer it? Nah. This is her night, whatever it was would just have to wait. A few seconds later, she heard her voicemail alert. Good, the person had the good sense to leave a message.

She was already in her bed, under her down comforter when she remembered the voicemail message. It might have been important, she has to at least listen to it. She groaned as she climbed out of bed and walked to the armchair next to her dresser. She picked up her purse and dug inside for her cell phone. Why was there so much junk in this purse anyway? Finally, she found her phone and called her voicemail box. The voice over for her voicemail announced to her "You have one new voice message!" After which she heard a deep male voice saying, "Hello, my name is Prince Osa, a friend of Toke's. She gave me your number at a conference. I thought I'd give you a call and well hopefully start from there. Please give me a call when you get this message. My number is 617-455-5589. Have a lovely night." Her heart began to skip around. Should she call him right away? No.... that would be too easy. She would give it a day. This night was definitely her night, everything had turned out right.

All In God's Time (Part 2)

...



"I said, I gave him your number...look anyway babes I have to run! My lunch break is over! He might call you soon so please answer your phone." And with that Toke hung up. Baffled, all Labake could do was to hold her phone in mid-air and wonder at her friend. Only Toke could do such a thing and still order her to talk to a complete stranger. She made a mental note to call her friend after work to sort it out to her. Toke needs to understand that she can't just give her phone number to random strangers. With that she looked to her cold meal and continued eating as she day dreamed about her beau and how he will come sweeping her off her feet. Before she knew it, her one hour lunch break was over and she had another 3 hours of work ahead of her.

***

Toke couldn't just contain her excitement. She kept wondering when Prince Osa will call her friend. She's known Labake all her life, they practically grew up together. Both their mums were really close friends. She remembered when they were both 7 years old and they would go out the back door of Labake's family's duplex in Ikeja, Lagos to the large backyard. There they would play hide and seek. Yes, through the years they had bumps along the way but they got over them and here they today. She's really the sister Toke never had, being the only girl in a family of 4 children. And although she loves her friend dearly, one thing she couldn't quite wrap her mind around was her friend's determination to wait for God's timing to bring her Mr. Right to her. After all they say Heaven helps those who help themselves. Honestly she thinks Labake should get out more... Go to parties, meet new people, really meet more guys. She needs to stop locking herself in on Friday and Saturday nights like an old lady. After all, there's nothing wrong in living your life when you're young. God understands. Right God? Just as she was thinking, she glances at the clock on her computer's monitor. Five o'clock. Time to meet up with Dotun for their coffee date. Whether they will be drinking coffe is another topic she's not going to dwell on.

As Labake pulled into her driveway she felt her phone vibrate on her lap. Her mind raced to her conversation with Toke earlier that day. Could it be Prince Osa calling her so soon? If it was what would she say? Should she entertain him or just shut him down before he even opens his mouth. As odd as it sounds, she wasn't in the mood to talk to this particular guy. She wants a man but really this guy? But a conversation couldn't hurt... Just before the last vibration, she pressed the answer button without looking at the caller ID window.

"Hello?"

"Hello Labake?" Disappointment and relief flooded her heart. It was her mom.

"Mom! Isn't it late for you to be up? I hope everything is ok."

"Everything is ok my dear. I just wanted to tell you that I'll be coming to the US this Saturday. I need to come in for my annual check-up and well, use that to see my baby."

"Oh ok... I'll prepare your room. It'll be nice to have you around mom. It's so lonely here sometimes." Excitement began to build quietly in her. Having her mom around wouldn't be so bad. They could go shopping together and do girly things. Oh the comfort of a mother!

"Well ok my dear. I'm going to bed now... I just wanted to let you know of my plans... Save the gists o!"

Labake giggled. "Ok mom. Sleep tight! Tell dad I send my love! I love you!"

"I love you too dear. Good night!"

Calls like this makes Labake miss her family so much. She's so ready to see her mom. Now she has to get her house ready for her mother.

All In God's Time

"When will my Prince Charming come?" "When will someone come and sweep me off my feet?" "Will I have to grow old living with my parents, while aunties pity my lot?" Labake asked herself while she combed her hair that morning as she got dressed for work. Just as the thoughts settled in her mind she made a conscious decision to shove them into the dark places of her heart that no one else saw. Not even her. What would happen if she opened the door to the overstuffed closet that contains all her regrets and fears? No, she would not go there. Instead she would soak in the beautiful morning around her; the birds chirping outside her window, and the sounds of school busses and moms saying goodbye to their little ones.

Really she had nothing to be concerned about. She was quite successful at her young age of 26 years. She had been awarded a first class degree in Computer Engineering from Hull University in England before she moved to the States. She had a great job, one that had afforded her the privilege to be a homeowner in the nice suburban town of Topeka, Kansas. To top it all, she had the best friends and family anyone could possibly ask for. Anyone would look at her life and call her blessed.

As Labake pulled her hair back in a ponytail, her mind raced back to a family retreat 2 years ago in her Western Nigeria village of Ora. It was late evening, and her parents were entertaining aunties and uncles who were also around for the annual Christmas family retreat. They had set up some chairs around a small fire pit to keep warm during the harmattan season. She pulled up a small stool and sat next to her mum in order to be able to listen to what the older adults were talking about. Not long after she had joined the group, her aunty Bola looked at her and said, "ah Labake, it's soo good to have you around this year. Last year your mum told us you couldn't take time off work since you just started working." To which Labake replied, "Awww aunty! It feels so good to be home." "Yes my dear, there's no place like home," aunty Bola replied and continued, "ehen I've been meaning to ask you something." Then as if she wanted to get permission before proceeding, she looked at Labake's parents and then said, "when are you going to settle down? Don't you know you're no longer getting younger? Just last year we had the mo mi mo e (Yoruba introduction ceremony) of your cousin Bimpe." At this point Labake looked at her mum then her dad, smiled, and answered, "aunty all in God's time." And ever since that conversation that is what she's been saying whenever that question comes up.

Now fully dressed, she takes one final look at herself in her tall mirror and snatches her purse off her desk and runs out of her room, down the stairs, out of the house and into her car. Getting into the car she chides herself for getting carried away in her thoughts when she has a report to give that morning for which she needs her mind clear. Thoughts about Mr Right are just going to have to wait till lunch time.

Labake was glad to finally be heading towards the cafeteria of her company for her lunch break. As she set her tray down, her phone vibrated. It was her close friend Toke. She hesitated for a second before answering, this better be good she thought. "Hello... Toke what's up?" "'Bake! How are you? I think I just found your Mr. Right!" Before Ronke could finish the last word, Labake rolls her eyes as Toke always finds her "soul mates" Amazing how one person can have so many. "So what is this one's name this time o?" She asks, wanting to amuse her friend. "Ore, you won't believe it! He is the son of the Oba of Benin. I met him at a conference on African Development at Harvard this past weekend. Immediately I saw him I thought of you. You too have to talk. I hope you don't mind but I gave him your number." Labake almost choked listening to her friend, she had to cough to prevent from passing out. With a raspy voice she said, "You did what?!?"

Where is your compass pointing?

The other day, I was hanging out with a good friend of mine, and we were on our way to go pick up one of his friends for lunch. As we were driving, we missed our turn and next thing you know, we're in this neighborhood and we didn't know how to get out of there. So he looks at his map on his cell phone and he begins to map out our way back on track. Then I asked him how he could know where his east or west was. Then he explained the process to me. He explained to me that often times we determine the east or west from our perspective. So someone driving in a different direction from me is going to have a different east. However, he said there's something call true north which means there will be true east, west , and south. This means that no matter your perspective there is only one true north and when someone says to turn true north, that's the only direction you can turn.

This got me thinking. In the world today many people say that there are many paths to eternal life. According to them it is all a matter of perspectives. So in other words, my east is right because from where I'm at, it is east. While I agree that we all come different backgrounds and directions, I must say that in order to get to our desired destination, which is eternal life, we must turn True North. Jesus said, "I am THE Way, THE Truth, and THE Life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Jesus is not a way, He is not just another perspective on how to get to heaven, He is the True Compass. So today no matter where your personal compass is pointing, would you turn True North?

Ramblings

So many thotughts.... where do I begin?

Have I told you that I love reading?
Yes I do! Since I was like 6 years old I have been an avid reader. I just enjoy diving into a story, getting to know the characters like they are friends and family. Reading opens up my mind and I can imagine and see the story coming to life. Now I must clarify that I only enjoy reading for leisure not for work or classes.
The latest book I'm reading is written by Karen Kingsbury and it is part of her Baxter Family drama series. I've really enjoyed reading this series so far and I will reccomend it to anyone who loves reading.
Karen Kingsbury is a Christian author, and as such her books can be categorized as Christian fiction. The only complaint I can think to make is that Karen loves to describe a lot. She spends a lot of time describing a setting, the way someone's face looked when he saw his wife, the way the children played with the fish in the pond. However, overall Kingsbury knows how to bring a story to life.

In case you're that curious, here's a list of some of my fav reads:
-The Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis
-Redeeming Love -Francine Rivers
-The Pursuit of God -A.W. Tozer
-The Pursuit of Man -A.W. Tozer
-Blink -Ted Dekker
-Showdown -Ted Dekker
-Little Women -Louisa May Alcott

...And many more!

Passing Through Grace

I honestly believe that this year, I'm meant to really understand what it is we mean when we talk about the Grace of God. Through most of this year, I have fallen below the standards of God and the standards I set for myself. And each time this happens I find myself asking "why?" I find myself coming up with a plan to never be in that situation again. And each time I come up with a plan I find it difficult to uphold my standards. So it seems I'm faced with a dilemma. In my study of the Word I found these verses: Mark 8:14-21:

14The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. 15"Be careful," Jesus warned them. "Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod."
16They discussed this with one another and said, "It is because we have no bread."
17Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? 18Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don't you remember? 19When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?" "Twelve," they replied.
20"And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?" They answered, "Seven."
21He said to them, "Do you still not understand?"

It took me a while to understand this scripture. At first I thought it must be that Jesus is saying to watch out that we don't become puffed up like the Pharisees and Herod. Then I read on, and He talks about the feeding of the 5,000 and of the 4,000 and how there were basketfuls leftover. So my eyes opened a bit and I said, "why would He connect the miracles to that statement?" Yesterday as I was at work I was listening to a message online and the pastor begins to talk about the verses above. The interesting thing was that, it wasn't even part of his message, just a side note. So he explains that what Jesus was trying to convey to the disciples was that they cannnot continue their walk in the Kingdom of God in their own flesh even though they were birthed into the Kingdom by the Grace of God. The Pharisees were more concerned about keeping with the laws of Moses, at least the exterior ones.

I believe Jesus was using the example of the feeding of the thousands to help them understand that He has the power to do anything, i.e. keep their souls. That got me thinking. If Jesus was the one that died on the cross for me and made it possible for me to die to my old ways that day I gave my life to Him. Is that Jesus still not in charge of my life as long as I surrender it to Him? So why the obsession with perfection that is only born out of my flesh? Jesus said that whosoever will save his life will lose it, but whosoever will lose his life for the sake of the Gospel will find it. Most of the time we're caught up trying to save our selves. We may not say it like that, but our actions show it. We live like now we got it together. Afterall we're blood washed, tongue speaking believers. When Christ is beckoning on us to be broken utterly, with a realisation that truely we are passing through Grace. By grace we have been saved and by grace must we walk.

P.S. This is not to say we should continue in sin so that grace may abound.

Indian Cuisine... Yum!

After being away for so long, I'm back with my account of what I did this past weekend.
Today is Labor Day, and holiday weekends being the way that they are, everybody wants to go out and do something fun. So on Saturday, some people went to the beach, some to a theme park, and well others to the circus. I was not among the early birds who hit the beach or theme park as soon as they could. I on the other hand had errands to run. The cable company was supposed to come set up my cable between the hours of 11am and 2pm, after which I was to go explore Washington D.C. with Mr. Or so I thought. The cable guy didn't get to my aprtment till about 2:45pm, and what should have taken him 1 hour to complete, ended up taking almost 3 hours. 'Why?' You ask. Because my cable company in their effort to save money, while at the same time rip people off,gives their technicians refurbished cable modems. Apparently, the cable modems the guy brought with him had not been checked so he ended up trying like 4 cable modems before the last one worked. Let me just say it was a long 3 hours waiting for everything to be fixed. Lesson learnt: patience.

Anyway, after the cable guy left, Mr. and I began to go over our options of what we could do next. We thought about going to D.C. but decided not to because it was already late to do most of the sight-seeing we wanted to do. Then he reminded me that we'd been planning to go to an Indian restaurant for some time now. So we figured we'd check one out. Okay quick bckground information: I love Indian cuisine... I eat it at least twice a month, Mr. on the other hand had never had Indian cuisine. I went online and found this restaurant called Memsahib. I clicked on their website and saw what they had to offer. It was the total Indian dining experience... Here it goes:

When we got there, we were welcomed into something right out of an Indian family room. Instead of tables and chairs like in a restaurant there were cushoined benches and pillows, with low round tables. The decor was very warm and inviting with orange/amber walls and dim lamps hanging from the ceiling. After we took our seats, one of the servers, (who I think is one of the sons of the family) came and asked for what we would like to drink. I ordered a mango lassi while Mr had orange juice. Then the guy returned to explain the menu to us, we were to have six courses that evening. First he started us out by washing our hands since we were to use our hands to eat. Then came the first course which was an assorted tray of cooked eggplant in tomato sauce, cucumbers and bell peppers in a cumin dressing, carrots in a coriander dressing and chicken kebab. Hmmmmm delicious! My favorites were the cucumbers and the chicken kebab. I wouldn't make your mouth water unnecessarily with the details of the menu, here's a link if you would like to check it out: http://www.memsahibrestaurant.com/rockville.php.

In addition to the wonderful meal, it felt like we were in an Indian home with Bollywood dance videos being played back to back on the flat screen tv and projector screen. Towards the end of our six course dinner, a bellydancer came out and thrilled the guests. The atmosphere changed and it felt like a party. Although what we were celebrating, I don't know. She invited almost all the guests to dance with her, and when she came to our table, Mr. kept looking away from her. He said jokingly, that his mother told him not to look. I guess he was not comfortable watching a woman wiggle her waist in front of him. All in all, the night went well and I'm sure Mr. left with a positive impression of Indian cuisine.

Turning your Mess into a Message...

Excerpt:

How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame?” (Ps. 4:2). These blows aren’t random or incidental. They strike directly at some part of the heart, turn the very thing God created to be a source of celebration into a source of shame. And so you can at least begin to discover your glory by looking more closely at what you were shamed for. Look at what’s been assaulted, used, abused.

As Bernard of Clairvaux said, “Through the heart’s wound, I see its secret.” Let me put it this way: What has life taught you about your God-given glory? What have you believed about your heart over the years? “That it’s not worth anyone’s time,” said a woman. Her parents were too busy to really want to know her. “That it’s weak,” confided a friend. He suffered several emasculating blows as a boy, and his father simply shamed him for it. “That I shouldn’t trust it to anyone.” “That it’s selfish and self-centered.” “That it’s bad.” And you . . . what have you believed? Those accusations you heard growing up, those core convictions that formed about your heart, will remain down there until someone comes to dislodge them, run them out of Dodge.

(Waking the Dead, 118)

My pastor once preached a message title, "Turning you mess into a message." Months later I am finding myself thinking on this parituclar subject. I was at a conference last week and the minister spoke on "The manifestation of the sons of God." However she spoke on that verse in Romans 8 from a different perspective. Allow me to share just a few words from the message with you, please know that these were what I got from the message, not necessarily what she said verbatim. "Look at the area where you've been attacked the most in your life, that's where your destiny/glory is." You may say well what does that mean? Let me paint a picture for your mind. Imagine a young girl, all her life all she's ever dreamt of doing with her life is to sing. She would sing in the garage when she gets back home from school. In her mind she wasn't just singing in her mother's plain garage, she was singing before thousands of people. As she grows older, her parents and others around her try to discourage her from pursuing her dream of singing. By the time she's in college, singing is not something she really sees as her glory but rather something she does on the side. Boyfriends, and so-called friends ridicule this gift and say, "if you really want to sing you should do this and do that." They mock her voice and never really validate or support her dream, her glory.

It is my hope that as you read this today, that if you've been in that girl's shoes, you don't let anybody tell you you're not all that. It is only because the enemy knows the treasure that is on the inside of you that he uses those to whom you look for validation to discourage you. Discouragement means to loose heart. Once you lose heart you lose passion and when passion and zeal are lost there's nothing else to live for. So get up and manifest as the glorious child of God that you were made to be.

What makes your heart race?

Before I dive into today's thoughts, ponder on this quote:
"Do you know that if you become a favourite of God, he will make excuses for you” said P.E (Pastor Emeka). -Pulled from: http://babajidesalu.wordpress.com/

Have you ever thought about what makes your heart race? Like something that you enjoy doing so much that when you think of it you get excited like a kid in a candy store. There are passions and dreams that I believe each human being has to make an impact on humanity. They're like our fingerprints; long after we're gone, generations after us will see them and will remember us. When I think of people like Michael Jackson and C.S. Lewis (both very different characters I know) I can only imagine the amount of passion that was in them. I think of someone like Billy Graham, Maya Angelou, Mothe Theresa, and all the people who have left a mark on us. Of all of them I think of Jesus Christ who left the greatest mark of all. God gives us all passion and He wants us to discover them and use them for His glory.

I have found that it is okay to not know what our passion is initially. Maybe we're restrained in some way, by our obligations to our family and society. Sometimes it takes not knowing and just jumping into the unknown to reconnect you with that moment in eternity when God put your very own dream inside you. Eccl. 3:11 says, "....God has set eternity in the hearts of men." I believe this verse is saying that God put a question about our purpose and passion in our hearts so that we can then turn to Him for the answer. So if you find yourself in that place of asking what am I really passionate about? You're in a great place.

For me, I knew a bit about my passions. As a little girl I always wanted to sing. I would stand in the garage of my house and sing my heart out, most of the songs were little made up songs. I jumped at every opportunity I got to sing in a choir. Once my father asked me what I wanted to study in school and I told him music. He laughed and said I can always do music later but he wants me to find something more professional. Looking back now, I wonder what may have happened if he had agreed with me. Yea, I can only wonder. So I went on to study Computer Science at the university. Was that my passion? No. My passion remained music. There were times I lost focus but it was always there, drawing me gently. It still wakes me up at night and trails my every step.

Is that my only passion? No. I have just disocvered that I also enjoy writing. School made me hate writing; all the restricted topics and grades just sapped the fun out of writing for me. But now that I'm out of school, I get to write when I want and how I want. I don't have to worry about a teacher snobbing my work. For me it is a way of expressing myself. Sometimes something really good happens and I just want to run to my journal and scribble or run here and let it all out. What I'm going to do with it I'm still working it out with the Lord of the Universe. One thing I'm certain about though is that I am more than grateful for giving me passions that make my heart race.

Random....

Whoa!!!! Double Whoa!!!!
It's been a while since I've been here. It's like I want to write but then I shy away from doing so, always coming up with some excuse or the other for why I can't write. It's either the time is not right or the environment is not right or I think I have nothing worth writing about. But you know what... the reality is that I don't want to deal with the 1001 thoughts that are coursing through my mind so I'd rather keep busy with some mundane activity. So today I've purposed that I'm going to stop avoiding this blog and just write. So please take me as I am today, with all my thoughts all over the place. I don't think there's a theme here... just me letting it all out.

Did I ever tell you I love Hillsong? Yes I do! I love their songs.... Whooo!

Oh yea.... I just got back from a trip down to New Orleans. It was a missions trip organized by my church, and the youth went down there. It is still heart breaking to me that 4 years after the storm hit and the levees broke that the situation there is still like it happened yesterday. But then again didn't it happen yesterday? The lower ninth ward was the one hit the hardest. Where a house used to stand, all you find is the concrete slab it stood upon. Neighborhoods looking like forests with all the overgrown grasses and bushes. That part of the city screams desolation. Imagine children not being able to go to their school, families scattered across the country, unable to return home. What is our government doing about it?

Interesting how they rebuilt the downtown part of the city. Expensive shops were up and running, even Bourbon street was bustling with business as usual. This is where society's priority is: Entertainment and money. The lust of our eyes, the greed to keep possessing and never reaching enough. We turn our backs on the needy, we pass them on the street and come up with an excuse for why we can't help them at that moment. This trip challenged us to go deeper in our love for people. Get out there and visit a sick person, feed the homeless, look for someone to show Christ's love to. I hope we get around to doing these things... not for our selves so that we can feel better about ourselves, but in the name of Love. One thing is for sure: Greater things are still to be done in that city of New Orleans.

Another thought:
Have you ever been in what feels like a desert place in your walk with God? Like you could try everything you know and still feel distant to Him... and it seems like you begin to fall prey to little temptations that you thought you had overcome? Now my heart cries out... I want my life to be filled with Him. That rain will fall on this desert ground. That the fallow ground will be broken and that the desert place will sing. Then will breakthrough come! Hmmm..... I'm pondering....

But for now... I will glory in my Redeemer, and I will rejoice and be glad. Because I know He is keeping me around for a reason, to show me tender mercies every morning. Maybe in hopes that He will wooo my heart again!

Thanking God and reflecting....

Yesterday, 7 people lost their lives in a rail tragedy. My heart goes out to their families and to those who were injured. And I pray that this tragedy never occurs again.
When I realized what happened yesterday, I was overwhelmed and could not but thank the Almighty God for preseving my life. We are indeed living in perilious times, and we have to be mindful to always watch and pray. It is so easy to slip into the monotony of life... and not be conscious of the different ways the devil is trying to attack humanity. The Bible clearly says that the adversary roams around like a lion looking for whom to devour. My prayer is that none of us will end up his prey.

....On a reflective note....

"You asked me to give you some time... to get back on track with Him... because it seems like everything is so foggy around you... Now I'm giving you some time... I have to admit it is not the easiest thing to do... How I miss the times of just talking with you... Don't get me wrong I do see the need for what yo are doing... My one fear is this: that after you have taken time off... You will no longer see need for me... Like after the fog clears in your mind... I will just be a figment of your imagination... A dream that never quite materialized... I wonder if there is doubt in your heart... Was it something I said... Or is it something I did in my past... That thing that you said was 'ok' but isn't quite 'ok'... I also worry that when you've come back from your journey... that my heart may have grown bitter and cold... That the blaze of desire and passion that is now there may turn to nothing more but a flicker... I have no other choice than to have faith in the word I heard and in the words you said, I have no other choice than to hope that you indeed are everything I prayed for.... and I have no other choice but to love you... through it all."
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." -I Cor. 13:13

Wow!!! Okay back to reality!

Forgetting Is No Small Problem

Right above my bed I think I shall hang a sign that says, GOD EXISTS. You see, I wake most mornings an unbeliever. It seems that during the night, I slip into forgetfulness, and by the time the new day comes, I am lost. The deep and precious truths that God has brought to me over the years and even just yesterday seem a thousand miles away. It doesn’t happen every morning, but enough to make it an ongoing reality. And I know I am not alone in this. As George MacDonald confessed in Diary of an Old Soul,
Sometimes I wake,
and lo, I have forgot,
And drifted out upon an ebbing sea!
My soul that was at rest now resteth not,
For I am with myself and not with thee;
Truth seems a blind moon in a glaring morn,
Where nothing is but sick-heart vanity.

Forgetting is no small problem. Of all the enemies our hearts must face, this may be the worst because it is insidious. Forgetfulness does not come against us like an enemy in full battle formation, banners waving. Nor does it come temptingly, seductively, the lady in red. It works slowly, commonly, unnoticed. My wife had a beautiful climbing rose vine that began to fill an arbor in her garden. We enjoyed the red blossoms it produced every summer. But last year, something happened. The vine suddenly turned brown, dropped its flowers, and died within the course of a week. After all that loving care we couldn’t figure out what went wrong. A call to the nursery revealed that a worm had gotten into the stalk of the vine and eaten away at the life from the inside. Such is the work of forgetfulness. It cuts us off from our life so slowly, we barely notice, until one day the blooms of our faith are suddenly gone.

(Desire , 199–200)

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Take Heed!!!

"You who think you stand, take heed lest you fall."
Ever been in that place in life where you've always said, "if I were in that position, I wouldn't do such and such." Only to be confronted with the situation and alas you fall....
Your story then becomes easier said than done.
The word of God says, "Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord"...
I was in that place just recently... I had been soo sure of my ability to resist that thing that so easily beset me that I forgot to flee every appearance of evil. The end result was obviously not pleasant. Now while I was rescued in the nick of time, my spirit was still unsettled knowing that I had grieved the Holy Spirit of God.

And so I turned back to Him, like a child that has been wounded and I sought Him... still seeking Him. You know that song that talks about His steadfast love and His mercies that never come to an end but that are new every morning? That song is so relevant. He says that if we confess our unrighteousness, He is faithful and just to forgive us. Isn't that amazing? He is still willing to show me loving kindness for His Name's sake. He says that He longs to show me compassion.

But here is the difficulty or should I say the struggle. While I am aware that He is ministering His love and forgiveness to me, my mind/soul cannot but wonder if I'll be able to forget what happened or if I'll be able to have peace about certain decisions I made. In the midst of all that, I get that impartation in my spirit that says, "You cannot have peace until you embrace joy." In other words before I can even begin to understand whether or not I have peace about my decisions... I first have to joyfully accept the free gift of love and forgiveness that He's given. Like how about I start from there right? So I remember that I need to put on the garment of praise to shake off the spirit of despair and guilt.

Two scriptures for today:
"I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."
--Philippians 3:12-14

"When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely."
--1 Cor. 13:11-12

Have a blessed day! And remember to press on! :-)

That sweet warm feeling inside....

I'm back! I know it's been a while... but I assure you... you've been on my mind the whole time I was away. I often felt your tugging at me to update you. To fill your pages with the events of my life.. the ups and downs included. I'm here now.
Where do I begin?

These past couple of weeks have been interesting.... more like exciting. I wanted to start this post with a passage from Song of Solomon 1 but decided not to. It just might be too much for you! lol... Life is beautiful... and although it is raining outside with the sun in hiding, life has offered me a silver lining. You know that feeling you get when you thought all hope is lost and out of no where comes the very thing that you hoped for. Like one minute you blinked and a whole new journey opened up before you. Like all it took was for your life to be transformed in one moment. I like that verse from that song (Saviour King) by Hillsong: "Hope which was lost now stands renewed." When you see that silver lining you know that although things may not be as perfect as you would like them to be, there is still hope. As they say when there is life, there is still hope. You know what God (Yahweh) wanted to show Ezekiel in the valley of dry bones? He wanted to show him that even if hope is dead... it can still be revived. It was hope that enabled Ezekiel to prophesy to the dead bones in Ezekiel 37. I believe one very essential component of our walk with the Lord is hope. Till the day we die, there will be a pull on our lives to hope. We hope for a good life, we hope for that special someone to come into our lives, we hope for the return of our Lord Jesus Christ! That sweet warm feeling inside is hope. Since we know that the expectation of the righteous will not be cut short, why don't you go ahead and hope today!

As the week drags on...

Okay so today I really don't have one topic to focus on, but rather a series of thoughts and events that are rushing through my mind.
Last night I had a blast... Funny thing is I wasn't even planning on having such a great time. I had an amazing time with the love of my life. As I lay on my bed hoping to drift away to sleep while listening to spontaneous worship, I began to sing along with the singers. Before I knew it, out of me was coming my own worship. Then this song burst from my spirit: "Who am I not to sing Your praise? Who am I not to worship You?" A song that I sung over and over... that captivated my spirit and made it almost impossible to leave His presence... And even when I had turned off the light to sleep, the song was there and in the very early moments of sleep I was experiencing a very deep moving in my spirit.. and when I awoke (some minutes or an hour later) I knew that my spirit was still worshipping... Aaah! Sweetness!!

However, this morning I feel so tired so drained of energy. My body is screaming at me to give it rest, but what can I do? I have to go about the work that is ahead of me. As I type, my eyes are fighting to stay open.. lol my boss may find me with my head on my keyboard in a few minutes. Lol Okay. I won't do that.

Urgh! So much to do... so little time. Or so it seems. I just realized that we're almost halfway through the year and I still have goals to accomplish. God help me!

BTW What you doing for memorial day weekend?

Delight yourself...

"There's a river
Whose streams make glad
The city of Our God

There's a fountain
Full of Grace
That flows from Emmanuel's veins

I will rejoice (2x)
And be glad!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uq2Mi026Rdc

I love this song and it has just been ministering to me. I've been thinking about delighting in the Lord and what it means. I'm learning that delighting in the Lord means to find joy in Who He is and in the works of His hands. Like when I wake up in the morning and I have a song in my heart and a smile on my lips that is actually from my heart. When I walk to work and I notice the beautiful spring flowers or the lovely fresh green leaves! Lol I'm a dork I know... When I'm on the bus and someone smiles at me with such a loving and genuine smile that makes me know that He is smiling at me! lol... I delight in the amazing friends He's placed in my life (they know who they are). And those amazing people I come across in blogville!!! I delight in Him for letting me see another birthday... this is also part of His consistent love.

No matter what is going on around me, I will choose to rejoice and be glad... My God, the lover of my soul.. the one that makes my heart sing.. that draws me close... that calls my name in the middle of the night... will always be by my side...
People come and go... situations come and go, and if I focus on them I will miss out on a joy that has no boundaries... So today while I'm still breathing, I will delight in Him..

"I am confident that I will yet see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Today is the land of the living!

Have a blessed one people!

The Return of Spring

Winter tarries long at six thousand feet. Here in the Rocky Mountains, spring comes late and fitfully. We had snow again last week—the second week in May. I’ve come to accept that spring here is really a wrestling match between winter and summer. It makes for a long time of waiting. You see, the flowers are pretty much gone in September. The first of October, the aspens start turning gold and drop their leaves in a week or two. Come November, all is gray. Initially, I don’t mind. The coming of winter has its joys, and there are Thanksgiving and Christmastime to look forward to.

But after the new year, things begin to drag on. Through February and then March, the earth remains lifeless. The whole world lies shadowed in brown and gray tones, like an old photograph. Winter’s novelty is long past, and by April we are longing for some sign of life—some color, some hope. It’s too long.

And then, just this afternoon, I rounded the corner into our neighborhood, and suddenly, the world was green again. What had been rock and twig and dead mulch was a rich oriental carpet of green. I was shocked, stunned. How did it happen? As if in disbelief, I got out of my car and began to walk through the woods, touching every leaf. The birds are back as well, waking us in the morning with their glad songs. It happened suddenly. In the twinkling of an eye. My surprise is telling. It seems natural to long for spring; it is another thing to be completely stunned by its return. I am truly and genuinely surprised, as if my reaction were, Really? What are you doing here? And then I realized, I thought I’d never see you again. I think in some deep place inside, I had accepted the fact that winter is what is really true . . . And so I am shocked by the return of spring. And I wonder, Can the same thing happen for my soul? (Desire , 108–9)
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This is exactly how I feel. I am reminded of the song of Solomon that goes:

My lover spoke and said to me,
"Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, and come with me.
See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."
-Song of Solomon 2:10-13~

Letting go...

"All of my life, In every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship." -Hillsong.

I'm in this place in my life where I know I have to let go of somethings and I tell you it's tough. How quickly I've forgotten how hard it is to remove the tentacles of my soul from those things to which it has latched onto. Letting go of those baggages that prevent me from embracing God and all that He has in store for me. But even when I think it is going to be a bitter pill to swallow He reminds me that He has given me joy unspeakable on the inside, and all I have to do is just reach down and pull it out.Ugh! Oh how I pray that this moment will pass by quickly!!!

On an amusing note... Have you ever met someone that liked you but you didn't even fancy them? And it seems that the slightest laugh irrates you? Well I'm there... Why does this happen? A friend of mine once said, "That's just how life is. You like someone they don't like you and someone likes you but you don't like them." Well I have resolved to laugh and get the most out of this situation. After all people come into our lives for a reason, and for a season... Aaaah... Which brings me back to my quote at the beginning of this post. In this season of letting go and "newness" I have a reason to sing and worship HIM!

Searching....

Hey...
I know it's been a while since I came here, and I'm sorry about that. However there is a reason for my absence... I have been searching for that thing that I would make my talking point for this blog... So far I haven't found the "thing" but one thing I have discovered is this desire to pour my heart out on this blog... (at least to some extent, some things still need to be kept private..) I hope to share my life in such a way that someone reading out there may be encouraged or inspired...
As I write this blog I am listening to an amazing song, whose composer I do not know but it just soothes me everytime I listen to "Jesus Wonderful is Your Name" on http://www.myspace.com/outcrywithus

Over the past couple of weeks I have just been soaking in the concept of Grace. The Grace of God. His Grace towards me and me extending that grace to others. I am finding that I need to rest in my relationship with Father God. I am not perfect... and it seems that sometimes just when I think I've got it down spiritually I am put in rememberance of Grace... It is by His Grace that I am here doing all that He wants me to do... And His Grace flows through His ever so powerful Love! Oh my goodness! At church yesterday... I felt His love shake me to the cores of my spirit... just when I was asking, Lord will you still use me? Am I still favored in your sight? And surely He responds... Oh what amazing Love!

Hmmm Grace towards others.... It simply is seeing them the way God sees them. I do not say this to say that I have this concept down... but I'm learning. Each day I pray Eph. 1:18 over myself... Neville Johnson said, (and I'm paraphrasing) "Discernment of spirits can only be done through Love." In other words we cannot say we have the gift of dicernment of spirits without operating in the perfect Love of God. His Love covers a multitude of sin... If the Lord reveals a sin in someone's life to me, it is not to then hit them over the head with the law but to pray for them and love them out of that situation....
Whew... Now that I've said that... Let the practicing begin!

Passionless---

I get these daily readings from the Ransomed Heart ministries (John Elderidge) and today I feel like sharing one of them with you. It speaks to the heart of some things I am experiencing.

--I thought of the last story we have from the life of the prophet Elisha. Jehoash was king of Israel at the time, and he went to visit Elisha on his sickbed. He knew that without the help of this great prophet, the future of Israel was looking dim. Enemies were closing in on every side, waiting for the kill. Elisha told the king to take in hand some arrows. And the king took them. Elisha told him, “Strike the ground.” He struck it three times and stopped. The man of God was angry with him and said, “You should have struck the ground five or six times; then you would have defeated [your enemies] completely . . . But now you will defeat [them] only three times.” Elisha died and was buried. (2 Kings 13:18–20)That’s it? What a strange story! Why was the old prophet so angry? Because the king was nonchalant; he was passionless, indifferent. He gave the ground a whack or two. His heart wasn’t in it. God says, in effect, “If that is how little you care about the future of your people, that is all the help you will get.” In other words, if your heart’s not in it, well then, neither is mine. You can’t lead a country, let alone flourish in a marriage, with an attitude like that. To abandon desire is to say, “I don’t really need you; I don’t really want you. But I will live with you because, well, I’m supposed to.” It is a grotesque corruption of what was meant to be a beautiful dance between desire and devotion. --

(Desire, 56-57)

Wow how true! How powerful!

What are you passionate about that you take to the place of prayer? Remember the words of James 1:6, and John 16:24...

Something to Ponder

Few have ever felt so pursued. Sometimes we wonder if we’ve even been noticed. Father was too busy to come to our games, or perhaps he jumped ship altogether. Mother was lost in a never-ending pile of laundry or, more recently, in her own career. We come into the world longing to be special to someone and from the start we are disappointed. It is a rare soul indeed who has been sought after for who she is—not because of what she can do, or what others can gain from her, but simply for herself. Can you recall a time when a significant someone in your life sat you down with the sole purpose of wanting to know your heart more deeply, fully expecting to enjoy what he found there? More people have climbed Mt. Everest than have experienced real pursuit, and so what are we left to conclude? There is nothing in our hearts worth knowing. Whoever and whatever this mystery called I must be, it cannot be much.

“In fact,” we continue, “if I am not pursued, it must be because there is something wrong with me, something dark and twisted inside.” We long to be known, and we fear it like nothing else. Most people live with a subtle dread that one day they will be discovered for who they really are and the world will be appalled.

(The Sacred Romance , 83–84)

Deep huh? Get the book! lol....

Will be back with plenty gist from my weekend...

Weather....

This weather na wa o! (That means it's a wonder)
I mean just last week we had freezing temperatures and today it's almost 70 degrees. It's been quite warm for a couple of days... not that I'm complaining. In fact I thank God for it and look forward to warmer days.
I don't think I mentioned that I'm a Nigerian... and lately I've been thinking about moving home... I mean Nigeria. Not anytime soon of course but say in 5 years... We'll see maybe God has different plans for my life... (Again this could also be as a result of reading all those blogs about Nigeria, aka Naija.) Well I really don't have much to talk about today... Oh still thinking about what to do for val's day with my girls...

Later!

Ok... So Today is Tuesday, February 10th 2009.
Just got off the phone with a dear friend of mine who is actually more like a brother, and I am back to the boring day at the office. Honestly, these are the times that I wish I had my own business or something more flexible. But oh well I will not whine...

Guy Dilemma

Yes! I said it.... I have guy dilemma but don't worry not anything crazy... just me having a crush on a very nice young man... The funny part is while others will be happy about a situation like this, I'm busy tormenting myself for even allowing myself to have a crush... especially one that I have labeled not my type. In fact "not my type" are nice words compared to the mean terms I have used in describing this guy. I will definitely update you as the crush develops. Who know next month I could have a new flavor of the month. J/K! As a good spiritual girl you're not supposed to think that way... Says Who? We'll have to see...

Valentines Day

Valentine's Day is around the corner.. and I want to do something nice with my girls... any ideas?

Looking forward to hearing from you...

Day 1! Here it goes!!!!

Ok so I finally caved in!
I have to admit I've always wanted a blog secretly but of course came up with a thousand and one excuses why I won't have one....
I hope to muse about the things that are important to me... and the not so important ones....
Well I should start by introducing myself...
I am passionately in love with the Triune God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost...
Jeshurn means the one God loves in Hebrew... (I'm paraphrasing)
I'm a dork... a helpless romantic.... a worshipper... and I love to goof around when I don't have to wear my serious face.
I invite you into my blogworld, and I hope that we can enjoy this adventure together!