Passing Through Grace

I honestly believe that this year, I'm meant to really understand what it is we mean when we talk about the Grace of God. Through most of this year, I have fallen below the standards of God and the standards I set for myself. And each time this happens I find myself asking "why?" I find myself coming up with a plan to never be in that situation again. And each time I come up with a plan I find it difficult to uphold my standards. So it seems I'm faced with a dilemma. In my study of the Word I found these verses: Mark 8:14-21:

14The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. 15"Be careful," Jesus warned them. "Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod."
16They discussed this with one another and said, "It is because we have no bread."
17Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? 18Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don't you remember? 19When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?" "Twelve," they replied.
20"And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?" They answered, "Seven."
21He said to them, "Do you still not understand?"

It took me a while to understand this scripture. At first I thought it must be that Jesus is saying to watch out that we don't become puffed up like the Pharisees and Herod. Then I read on, and He talks about the feeding of the 5,000 and of the 4,000 and how there were basketfuls leftover. So my eyes opened a bit and I said, "why would He connect the miracles to that statement?" Yesterday as I was at work I was listening to a message online and the pastor begins to talk about the verses above. The interesting thing was that, it wasn't even part of his message, just a side note. So he explains that what Jesus was trying to convey to the disciples was that they cannnot continue their walk in the Kingdom of God in their own flesh even though they were birthed into the Kingdom by the Grace of God. The Pharisees were more concerned about keeping with the laws of Moses, at least the exterior ones.

I believe Jesus was using the example of the feeding of the thousands to help them understand that He has the power to do anything, i.e. keep their souls. That got me thinking. If Jesus was the one that died on the cross for me and made it possible for me to die to my old ways that day I gave my life to Him. Is that Jesus still not in charge of my life as long as I surrender it to Him? So why the obsession with perfection that is only born out of my flesh? Jesus said that whosoever will save his life will lose it, but whosoever will lose his life for the sake of the Gospel will find it. Most of the time we're caught up trying to save our selves. We may not say it like that, but our actions show it. We live like now we got it together. Afterall we're blood washed, tongue speaking believers. When Christ is beckoning on us to be broken utterly, with a realisation that truely we are passing through Grace. By grace we have been saved and by grace must we walk.

P.S. This is not to say we should continue in sin so that grace may abound.