Moving On...

They say old habits die hard. I think we can say old affections also die hard.
Just recently I had to deal with the old affections of my heart. I really thought I had forgotten them, killed them, buried them, never to see them again. But that was only a dream. A delusion of some sort. They didn't go away, they had only morphed into something else.

In case you're wondering, I'm talking about those fantasies, dreams of the type of man I always thought I'd end up with. I'm talking about the impressions old boyfriends and crushes have left on me. I think every daughter of Eve have them to some degree. I surely got my fair share of them. I fantasied and day-dreamt. I panted and crushed hard. I was border-line chasing these crushes if it came to it. As for the old flames, we were through but as with any experience we have in life, they inevitably left an impression on me. so what does a girl do with all these when she meets a great guy who wants to pursue marriage with her?

What I did was to just bury them alive. I just shoved them deep somewhere within my soul without asking God for help on what to do. The crazy thing is that these suckers know how to change appearance and come back to life so you won't even suspect. It starts out innocent but it's the little foxes I tell you! So instead of guarding my heart, I start to indulge in a little conversation here with a guy I had feelings for, or just a little imagination of what my life would have been without Mr. And that's how it starts. Until one day I'm on the verge of ruining a really good work that God is doing in my life.

Proverbs 14:1 teaches us that a wise woman builds her home but a foolish woman tears it down. I certainly was walking in the footsteps of the foolish woman by not watching what I dwell on. So what did I do? I asked God for help. What was the answer? Die to yourself. Check this verse out:

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives." John 12:24

So if I want a new life that will produce a plentiful harvest of new lives, I have to forget what is behind, die to myself and reach for what is ahead. What is your story?

A True Father

---Excerpt from Fathered by God by John Eldredge

Jesus kept coming back to this central issue, over and over, driving at it in his teachings, his parables, his penetrating questions. If you look again, through the lens that most of us feel fundamentally fatherless, I think you'll find it very close indeed to the center of Jesus' mission. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?" (Matt. 7:9-10 NIV). Well? We rush ahead to the rest of the passage, but I think Jesus is asking us a real question and he wants a real answer. I expect he paused here, his penetrating, compassionate eyes scanning the listeners before him. Well? I hesitate. I guess you're right. I wouldn't, and apart from the exceptionally wicked man, I can't think of any decent father-even if he is self absorbed-who would do such a thing. Jesus continues, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (v. 11 NIV).

He is trying to speak to our deepest doubt about the universe.

Look at the birds of the air. Consider the lilies in the field. Are you not much more valuable to your true Father than they? (Matt 6:26, 28). Hmmm. I'm not sure how to answer. I mean, of course, there's the "right" answer. And then there is the wound in our hearts toward fatherhood, and there is also the way our lives have gone. "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?" (Matt. 18:12 NIV). Yet another question, pressing into the submerged fears in our hearts, another question wanting another answer. Well? Wouldn't he? "And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost" (vv. 13-14 NIV).Wherever you are in your ability to believe it at this moment in your life, at least you can see what Jesus is driving at. You have a good Father. He is better than you thought. He cares. He really does. He's kind and generous. He's out for your best.

All In God's Timing (Part 7)

Labake had to call Toke. There was just so much to catch up on, it had been a while since she spoke to her girlfriend. However, before she can do that she has to run a few errands. It's Saturday morning and she really doesn't feel like driving around town trying to do this and that. All she really wants to do is to curl up on her bed and gist with Toke. That would just have to wait. Right now, she has to: clean up the house (now that her mother is around), go to the post office, stop at the bank, and pick up groceries. Not a lot of things but very time consuming. Good thing she didn't make plans for this evening because she sure needs her rest. Speaking of plans, didn't she agree to go on a date with Osa?! She has nothing to wear! Didn't she realize that before agreeing to go out with a man, a prince for that matter. Oh brother! Now she has to add going to the department store to her list of things to do. And with that she dragged herself out of bed.

"Ah Akanke, you're awake? You children of nowadays sleep for long hours!" That was the first thing her mother said to her as she came into the kitchen. The woman was all showered and dressed for the day. She even had breakfast started. How does she do it?
"Mom, you always wake up early. It's only 9am!"
"Ok, I'll give you that one because it's Saturday. Will you like to eat?"
"Oh not now mom, I need to get to the bank before 12, and I still have to clean the house and do other things. What did you make?"
"I made ogi and akara. Enough of all this your onyibo food. See if you had woken up earlier you would have time to join me."
"Ah maami! I'm going to clean. see you in a bit."

The day rushed by and it was 3pm before she could settle on the couch with a hot bowl of amala and ewedu soup. It's such a blessing to have her mom around to make home-made Nigerian meals for her. She reached over to the side table and grabbed the cordless phone. Time to call Toke.
At the second ring, Toke answered.
"Ore, what's up?"
"hey love, I'm good o. Just trying not to let my mother drive me nuts. I love that woman though!"
Toke laughed. "You and your mother! I wish my mom would visit. The woman is too busy."
"Toke guess what."
"What?"
Labake giggled. "That was a brilliant answer. Why do we even say that. Anyway, Prince Osa asked me out on a date!"
"Whaaaat?! You're kidding right?"
"Why would I?"
"Wow, when and where?"
"Well, it's this coming Tusday evening. He's coming here."
"Omg, do you have an outfit?"
"Yea, I found something at the store, but I think I'll need help with the look."
"Don't worry I got this. Since I have to see momsie anyway, I'll stop by your place on Tuesday after work. I'll probably leave work early."
"Aww you don't have to... "
"Abeg the work go be alright."
"Aww ok... thank you Toksy... you're the best."
"You're welcome darling. Listen, let me run... I'll call you later ok?"
"Yeah sure no problem. Later love."
"Bye." click.

She really didn't know what to make of this date situation. Should she be excited or should she not be? She didn't want to get her hopes high just to have them crashing down again like many times before. Which is the main reason why she refuses to discuss it with her mother. That would only make matters worse. Her mother would be expecting a proposal immediately after the date meanwhile the man may not even be that into her. What is it with her? Why can't she be like Toke, who had all the men wrapped around her finger? Why can't someone just sweep her off her feet?

Those nutty things called relationships.

(image from: blog.thoughtpick.com)

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
...
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
-Romans 12:2, 9-10.

The verses above encourage us to not live our lives according to the pattern and culture of this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Then the author goes on to tell us that our love must be sincere. I'm sure you're getting my drift here. When we look around the world there'e so much hatred, bitterness, and truly the love of many has waxed cold. Even in my life. I allowed the enemy to come in and sow seeds of strife and bitterness that just sunk in and took deep roots. It took an emotional outburt on my part for me to realize how deep I had allowed this thing to grow.

See the enemy loves stife in the body of Christ, the more he cause disunity, the harder it is for us to walk in the fullness of what God has for us. In verse 2 it says, "then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is." When we're walking in strife we can't say we know God's heart because in His heart there is no hatred, no malice and no strife. Remember that admonishment that says, "Oh how wonderful and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell in unity?" When we dwell in unity with our brothers and sisters in Christ that is when the anointing and grace of God can truly flow down. Too many times do ministries break down because someone started a rumor and then the seed of deception and strife spreads, leaving many wounded and bitter.

God wants to do an awesome work in His body in these last days. I believe that we would be able to access some mighty breakthroughs spiritually in these last days even as in the natural many things that people thought would never happen are happening. However, to get to that place of knocking down obstacles and claiming the victory, the whole body of Christ has to be united in the effort. Every joint has to supply without murmuring or complaining. Enough of the bickering and back-biting. But this we should do: "Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer." (Romans 12:12)

Fathered by God.

As I type this post, I'm listening to a sermon about walking with the Father and getting our joy. The preacher said something that just stuck with me and reminded me that I'd been wanting to write about being fathered by God. He said, "busy-ness is the pain-killer of an orphaned soul." Very profound statement. Plainly speaking, this statement means that when a person is so busy they are only using that to deal with not having a relationship with Father God. I've been there.

Most of us, at some point in our journeys with God we're in the stage of being a servant to God. Either we're there when we first got born again or we got there after years of being in the Kingdom. You may ask is it possible to be born again and not have a relationship with the Father? The answer is an alarming yes. It is very possible. Often times people understand the concept of Jesus as Savior, as Lord, as our way to Heaven. We know He is Almighty, we know He is great and powerful and mighty to save but a lot of times most of us don't know how to deal with the reality of Him being our daddy.

Do you know it is possible to be in a family with both parents and not have a relationship with the father? Sure, he's your father, you're a product of his seed, you even look like him. He clothes you and feeds you, he disciplines you makes sure you have what it takes to stand on your own two feet but one thing is lacking. The thing lacking is relationship. That place of knowing your father intimately and him knowing you intimately. Where your relationship with him doesn't hinge upon whether you performed well in school or not, or whether you played really well on the field. You just enjoy your father and there's nothing he can ever do to make you doubt his love for you, and there's nothing you can ever do to make him stop loving you.

Now take that concept and apply it to God and multiply that by a gazillion. If you're like me you know it's hard because the standard of fatherhood the world has shown is really not that great. We live in a broken world where not everyone had a father figure so for many it's very difficult having a heavenly father. The good news is that it is very possible to be fathered by God. The thing is, He's already been waiting for us we just need to reach out to Him. Each person's relationship with Father God will be different just as my earthly father relates to his children differently. But know this: He cares soo deeply and He loves us more than we can ever understand.

Jesus said, "I no longer call you servants, I call you friends." Let's be sons of God, and not only that, let's be friends.

>>> Have you ever struggled with being fathered by God?

Reflections

Hello Blogville!

Please forgive me for my hiatus. There's been soo much going on that kept me away from you. First it was the fact that I felt that I had nothing to share then it was the ban on all non work related use of the internet at work. Today though, I just had to come here by hook or by crook. I can't say I have a word from the Lord for you, so please bear with me.

So a week ago on May 11th it was birthday. My birthday cake had 3 candles on it so I am three years old if you need to know. I got a really nice gift from my Mr. God bless him! I took the day off and spent the first waking moments with the Giver of Life to reflect on how far He's brought me. And even now I'm still on the reflecting train. God has been so awesome to me. I remember times that I honestly thought I wouldn't make it through. That my dreams were nothing more than vapor that will pass away and I will be left with nothing. Through my fears, He's held me in the palm of His mighty Hands, proving to me that He is the keeper of all my dreams.

I reflect on how I used to be and how I'm not that way any more because I have new life in me now. The things I struggled with no longer have me bound, not that I'm perfect but because I now have the choice to not be bound. I can choose in the freedom that He shed His blood for.

I can go on and on, but I won't make your eyes sore from reading. The main thing is that He has brought me from a mighty long way. What about you? Where has He brought you from?

Conversations with God

Recently I just read a book titled "Never the Bride" by Cheryl Mckay and Rene Gutteridge. It was a totally amazing experience. The authors did a great job mixing humor with some very sound core truths about God's heart for us. The book is about a young lady, Jessie, who is single and seriously searching for her Mr. Right. She has a huge crush on her best friend (a guy), Blake, who doesn't see her as a potential mate and so she spends her time dating other men while at the same time waiting for Blake. Her life takes a turn for the better as she develops a living, real, relationship with God. God actually appears to her in human form and that's how their relationship starts. Now I'm not going to ruin it for you, so go get a copy.

There are some things that just struck me in the book though. One of them being the reality of her relationship with God. The relationship was so real and so honest it was quite refreshing. Maybe because she didn't have the religious background that most of us have. When we pray (which is conversation with God) we tend to be very formal, like we put on this air and hardly do we wait for a reply. In the book though because she could see God in a physical body, her conversations with Him were so much more real (for a lack of a better word). I mean you see her letting it all out, the disappointments, her questions, her adoration. His responses are real too. It's funny because people around her began to think she was losing her mind due to stress and depression. She on the other hand is caught up in the most romantic relationship of her life. This book really challenged me about my relationship with God. Have I gotten stuffy in my conversations with God? Instead of presenting myself as I am, have I been reading scripts to Him?

The more I ponder on this, the more I realize that I have. I yearn for that type of living relationship with God, not the one where I'm just always interceding. Don't misquote me, intercession is very vital to the body of Christ; you will be surprised how your interceding has given someone else a breakthrough. But I don't want to intercede so much that I lose out on hearing Him talk to me on a daily basis from the mundane things in life to the big issues. God is just as much interested in the tiny details of my life as He is in solving world hunger. So today, my charge to myself and to you dear reader is that we approach our heavenly Father's throne just as we are and just bare it all to Him.

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" (Hebrews 4:16)